Teach Girls Bravery, Not Perfection

Today in English Class I chose to write a blogpost about a TED Talk from Reshma Saujani, a lawyer and politician who also happens the founder of tech organization Girls Who Code. Her TED Talk is called "Teach Girls Bravery, Not Perfection". She spoke on how we are afraid of making mistakes, and we demand much more than boys our age. Boys would get a 50 on their tests and be satisfied, but a girl, for example would cry because she feels as if she has disappointed people and she can do better, and she would ask for a remedial. Reshma talked about the very real difference between girls and boys, girls would hesitate to raise their hands when they don't understand, in the shame of them not understanding, but boys would raise their hands with no problem. This happens beneath our noses, and we don't speak of this phenomenon, as if it doesn't matter how girls are raised.

Before I say anything, I'm explaining that this is purely my opinion and in no way I am intending to generalize anyone. Yes, not every parent or teacher does this to girls, and not only girls suffer from the pressure of perfection; boys do too. But i feel that girls have to struggle with this more than boys.

I realised how I am after watching this. I strive for perfection and praises from peers. I rarely do things that I deem out of norms, and I don't challenge boundaries. For the past 14 years, I have always strived for perfection. When my parents are disappointed in me, I do better. I push myself again and again, and when someone points out that I can do better, I try to do better. Lately I haven;'t been that. I've got a 75 on my Maths exam and 70 on Biology. I'm currently trying to do more, because I feel disappointed in my grades. On the other hand, boys would be much more satisfied with grades like mine. Girls don't dwell on the fact that they have done well, they rather dwell on the fact that they can do better.

Boys are taught to be satisfied on what they gain, but girls are subconsciously taught to do more, or have more. If a boy is good in a subject, they get praised. But girls get praised, and then someone will say "But I'm sure you can do more."

We aren't even aware of this. We just strive for perfection without noticing. I am that girl. The girl who subconsciously wants to be perfect. Yes, I'm lazy and lot's of people strive for a more perfect perfection than I do. But I always want to do good. I still disappoint, but this has made me aware. This isn't just me, so much girls are striving for this kind of perfection. They want acceptance and they want to fit in. If they go to a school and the girls dress a certain way, they will dress like that.

Teach girls that being different is okay. Being wrong is okay, and how much we promote being wrong is okay, girls still think that being wrong is bad, because we can see the disappointment of our peers, our teachers and parents when we do something wrong. Girls can't do this alone. Women from all ages have to help, also boys and men. Our biggest fears typically are shaped by men. Little boys tell us that being fat is ugly, and our whole lives, we will dedicate some time to keep in shape. Boys will say that blue is a boys colour, and little girls wouldn't wear blue.

Feminism is a peoples revolution, not a womens revolution. Female, male, transgender, non-binary, masculine or feminine, feminism is a work for everyone; unlike the name. Just because it's called feminism, it doesn't mean only women can be feminists.

I plead you, whatever your gender is, please teach children to be brave and proud of whatever value they treasure, even if they are different. Teach children that there will always be a difference in everyone, but that doesn't mean we should scrutinize others for their differences.

Together, we will make a change.